So there I was sitting in the bakery, enjoying a muffin with my five kids. All of them sitting around the table quietly- in unison eating their muffins. All of us had got done praying for our food, then we sat around the table and each said what we were thankful for in 2008. Jeffrey, our oldest was thankful for our trip to South Dakota to see Mt. Rushmore (we had rented an RV and drove all the way). Joseph, our 8 year old was thankful for the trip as well. Madeline (6) was thankful for the trinkets we had bought a long the way- and Andrew (2) was thankful for his muffin. Andrew lives only in the moment. Osh was eating his crumbs.
It was at this time, during our stillness- that a stranger came up to us and complimented us on our behavior. He said "I just couldn't believe that there could be this many children in this place acting so quietly! It is a testament to you mom- and to society as a whole, that children can still behave." We politely said "Thank you" and smiled.
I thought to myself "This really isn't that strange"- as a matter of fact it happens everyday. Everyday, we get complimented on the "status" of our children, and how well behaved they are.
Since as long as I can remember- I have been pregnant or nursing, and have been admired for the kind of mother I have become. Jeff and I have been married for 13 years this July, and our oldest is 11. We now have a 11, 8, 6, 2 and 8 month old- busy for sure! (But not MANIC)
I decided to start a blog, right then and there (in the bakery)- to begin teaching my tricks on becoming a Supermom yourself, it really isn't that hard- anyone can do it, and your not as far away as you think.
Every family deserves to be able to sit at a dining table in peace, in public.
I started being labeled as a "Supermom", when I had three kids, no-one could quite make me out. I was 25 years old and never taken seriously- the tittle "Supermom" came on me in jest- people who felt sorry for me started to call me Supermom- just because of the shear number of bodies that I was lugging around.
But even while they were calling me "Super", (ordinarily a compliment) the looks that I was getting were more looks of pity, none of respect- that really bothered me. My husband and I were financially on our own- not depending on any hand-outs from our parents, and I had been staying at home for years (a feat in and of itself in the Bay Area, California)- but still no-one took me serious!
At this point I decided that if I was going to be respected at all- (the real kind) I would have to become "Super". If I wanted others respect, I would have to become worthy of 'Super' ness. I would have to live up to others expectations and over-do-it. I constantly consciously began working on excellence in the area of motherhood. If you asked me to "jump!" I'd say "how high?" If it were Christmas, I would hold it at my house- a spotless "you have kids?" kind of house. I made it my mission to prove to the world that I was a Supermom. I would be an excellent mother. Exhausting? Yes. Impossible? No.
What does it mean to be a Supermom?
The real irony of becoming a "Supermom", and claiming "Supermom" status, is that there really is no one person superior to another- is a Supermom, a mom who is perfectly manicured? Count me out. Is she constantly punctual? I'm already late. Is she sweet and endearing, never to raise her voice? My neighbors will tell you that isn't me at all!
The 'Super' ness of our being then- can only lie in the growth of our character. Each and everyday that we strive to be better- is a day that we become more superior, not to others- but to our old selves. My journey to become a Supermom has come from all the little mistakes I have made along the way. Each mistake that I learned from- led to a more mature developed mother, woman, wife- my growth caused me to come across as a more accomplished, more disciplined, and more focused person- making me appear 'Super' to others. In reality I am just a plain old Jane, who listens to God- and does what He tells me to do.
Question of the Day: Saturday, January 3, 2009-
Ok, "Supermom" how do I get my kids to sit down, shut-up, and be quiet while we are eating out?
1. Don't treat your kids like kids. Treat them like adults. If you treat them like kids, they will disappoint you and make you mad. Kids want to be adults and mirror you in all that you do. Get them "adult" sized cups, "real" silverware, plates too.
2. Serve your children. Ask them "What would you like to drink? Can mommy get you something? Let me put your napkin on your lap- just like mommy's."
3. Be patient. Your kids are probably starving for this kind of respect- I wouldn't start by going out to a five-star restaurant- but don't go to McDonald's either, fast food is typically loud and distracting. It makes me feel like being a kid- and I'm 31! Go to a place like Starbucks, or Le Boulanger bakery. Begin in an environment where you can act like an adult.
4. Be ready to leave. Eat, drink, leave. Sitting around blogging, reading, anything a kid might find boring- will only create moments of stillness that will cause the children anxiety. THEY DON'T KNOW HOW TO HOLD A CONVERSATION YET. They want to, but until they're around 6- they can't- so don't push it.
Do you know that our 8, and 11 year old actually ask us to go out and eat with them? They enjoy eating out as a family, and help us take care of the babies- all because we respect them, and treat them like adults.
Like this blog? Have any questions? Please give me your feedback- I want to help!
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